Slinking down the highway at 85 mph, well past dark, the A8 teaches you what luxury is all about. There’s leather above you, leather beside you, leather below you and leather in places that you couldn’t possibly need it. But luxury has never been about need, it’s about a sound system so rich and pure that Diana Krall: Live from Paris could be mistaken for Diana Krall: Live from your lap. Unfortunately, unless your name is Elvis Costello, you’ll just have to settle for the Audi.

The large, four-ringed, luxury sedan closes in on the territory held by two, well established, lavish sedans; the Mercedes S-Class and the BMW 7 series. The A8 is the baby of this trio, starting life in 1994. By the time 1994 rolled around, Coolio still had a viable rap career and Benz and Bimmer had been selling opulent sedans to the world’s elite for years and years. That leaves Audi with some serious catching up to do.

Dark Lord

On the outside, none of these three sedans are setting design studios ablaze with radical looks. That’s not really what this market segment is about. Most buyers are looking for an elegant, plush, conservative, non-shouty vehicle. A look that says “who cares if gas is $6.50/gallon.”

The sleek, simple lines of the A8 give it the edge over the other two. The Audi’s greenhouse is low and aggressive while the Mercedes roofline rises a bit too high and makes for a bubbly looking silhouette. The fender flares on the S class may also be a bit too pronounced. The Benz just doesn’t have the athletic stance or the menacing look of the A8. If Mephistopheles were buying, he’d have the Audi.

Comparing the Audi to the 7 series is more of a challenge. Mainly because, in the near future, BMW will debut its all-new 7 series sedan. The criticisms of the current one are pretty well documented at this point so I’ll spare you a list of Bangle-isms. Fortunately I’ve already seen press photos of new 7 series. Unfortunately, all that material is embargoed so it’s hard for me to say much. That said, the new model looks more appealing than the current one. Yes, the grill openings are absolutely ginormus as the spy photos have suggested. Does it best the Audi? My guess would be not quite.

If you’re ready to put down a deposit on an A8, a dark color like Cherry Black Pearl Effect is the way to go. The optional 20-inch, seven-double spoke alloy wheels cap off the “Dark Lord” look and feel of the Audi.

Bring on the traffic jams

The A8 is the first car I’ve driven that manages to make me not care about traffic backups. Anything that lets me enjoy this interior a minute longer is a good thing.

It starts with seats that are infinitely adjustable, heated and ventilated. If you can’t get comfortable, the problem is with your spine, not the car. The front seats will also massage you, but that’s not as great as it sounds. The massage doesn’t amount to much more than the lumbar air bladder inflating and deflating. While I wasn’t expecting hands to pop out and start working on my latissimus dorsi, I was hoping for a little more than something gently pushing on my lower back.

Material-wise, it’s leather, walnut and aluminum. Assuming you opt for the $750 Leather upgrade package and the $1500 Alcantara package, you’ll have leather on the door panels, door armrests, headliner, pillars, sun visors, seats and steering wheel. Walnut and aluminum trim pieces sweep across the dash and onto the door panels for a very polished, contrasting look. In the middle of all that walnut and aluminum, you’ll find the pop-up LCD screen that acts as the interface for most of the cars systems.

Assuming you have a spare $6300, there are two more things that can pop up: a pair of acoustic lense speakers will rise out of either corner of the dash each time you hit the engine start button if your A8 is equipped with the Bang & Olufsen Advanced Sound System. While the B&O system is an option on paper, it should be a foregone conclusion in your mind. You want this in your life. Thirteen speakers and a 12-inch subwoofer fill the cabin with the best in-car audio I’ve heard to date.

Casting an eye towards the competition, the S class doesn’t seem to stack up design-wise. The Mercedes dash has a minimalist look that is topped off with a large, awkward pod that houses the gauges and the LCD screen. Bottom line; the A8 interior is just nicer to look a.

As before, it’s a little hard for me to comment on the new 7 series. I could go over the details, but then a nice man from BMW would show up at my door and punch me in the kidneys. In general, the new 7’er interior is quite a lot better than the old one. The design is better and the layout of the controls is better. It is as nice, if not a bit nicer than the A8’s cabin.

In short, the Audi interior looks great, feels good and sounds incredible. I’d love to leave it at that, but there was one sound I didn’t like: A rattle. I could never pin it down, but it seemed to be coming from inside the door panel, or the corner of the dash. It may have even been coming from the oh-so-cool speaker that arises from the dash. Whatever the source, this rattle was a re-occurring annoyance. In a car that had only 8500 miles on it and cost just under $94,000, this was not even remotely acceptable. If this A8 were mine, I would be on the way to the dealership and I’d be pissed.

Suave V8

The 4.2-liter, 350 horsepower V8 powering this A8 is smooth to the core. Or crank as it were. As with most Audis, the power delivery and ride is so smooth that a cruising speed of 95mph can easily be mistaken for 70mph. Smoothness certainly doesn’t inhibit its ability to go. Zero to 60mph happens in just 5.9 seconds. Not bad considering the A8 weighs in at 4321 pounds.

While the A8 is by no means a sports car, some owners are going to want to open up that V8 on occasion. When they do, they might find the front of the A8 giving them wiggle or two at the entry of the corner. It wasn’t enough to make my life flash before my eyes, but the car did occasionally seem to need a second to get hooked up with the road. Past that, this Audi handles the rest of road damn near perfectly.

If you’re wondering about fuel economy, then you probably aren’t really interested in buying an A8. I averaged 17.3mpg during the week, which included a fair bit of spirited driving. If you take out the high-speed cornering and drive like a regular person, an average of 21-22mpg is certainly possible.

Why you wouldn’t buy it

The A8’s wicked undertone may be too subtle for you. Maybe you want a luxury car with much louder, flashier styling. You may even want a car with more power than the Audi’s 350hp. Build quality issues may also linger in the back of your head even as Audi continues to move up the JD Power rankings.

Why you’d buy it

If you want something that draws attention, get the A8. During the week I drove the A8, I lost count of how many times people gawked at the car at red lights. More importantly, if you want a streamlined, comfortable, competent luxury sedan with a hint of evil, get the A8.

Price as tested: $93,790 (Bang & Olufsen Sound, Sport Package, Premium Package, Adaptive Cruise, Front Seat Ventilation & Massage, Alcantara Package, Leather Upgrade, Cherry Black Pearl Effect, Power Door Close Assist, Dual Paned Security Glass, Four-Zone Climate Control, Rear Seat Electric Lumbar Adjustments). See our full pricing guide.

Words and photos by Chris Doane.

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