In our next installment of Battle of the Exes, Leftlane’s popular “He said, She said” soap opera, ex-husband and ex-wife “team” John Priddy and Brenda Priddy (don’t say their names together) decided to take a look at Volvo’s XC60, the ultra-safe, compact, premium SUV that goes up against the likewise brand new Mercedes-Benz’s GLK and BMW and Land Rover’s established X3 and LR2, respectively.

Still bickering after the last time these two shared custody of a car – and that time they didn’t even have to ride in it together – John and Brenda were invited to sample Volvo’s new XC60 crossover in San Francisco.

For a full, in-depth review of the XC60, check out Leftlane reviewer Mark Elias’ driving impression.

He said
Why would any couple no longer legally attached want to spend their “anniversary” together? That’s easy. We were invited to a no-fault, non-competitive road rally in Volvo’s all-new XC60 crossover. Our first impressions were positive, but a little overwhelming, because this little ‘ute is just crammed with accident-avoidance technology.

It would have been great to have had some of that technology in our marriage.

She said
That’s the anniversary of our divorce we’re talking about here. But to continue, we only tried a real road rally once, in John’s navel-orange Corvette, and didn’t talk to each other for three days after that memorable event.

He said
Hey, it was fun and if you had followed the directions we would have tied for third place. And, by the way, it was an Ontario Orange Corvette.

Putting the past behind us, at least for now, we traveled to the San Francisco Bay Area to drive Volvo’s brand new XC60, a stylish, sophisticated, crossover SUV with all the latest safety and handling systems we’ve come to expect from the Swedish automaker.

Starting quite literally at the foot of the Golden Gate Bridge, we got up early for a day trip that would take us north through the misty rain in Sausalito and on to the spectacular coastal scenery of California’s Highway 1.

More than 3,000 curves and 50 snide comments later, past breathtaking ocean views, idyllic bays with low lying clouds enveloping redwood covered hills, and Alfred Hitchcock’s infamous bird hangout, Bodega Bay, we reached Stewart’s Point, our midday lunch stop.

She said
First out, last in. It’s a good thing this wasn’t a competitive rally. Why did I just spend several hours cooped up in car with him?

At least having to stop every time I saw another photo op and the fact that John’s driving was making me very ill made for a very interesting “anniversary.”

I guess.

The sickness was no fault of the XC60, simply John’s driving skills on those curves. Or lack thereof. So what was all that beeping about when I was trying to relax on the rare occasion that you didn’t jerk the XC60 from side to side?

He said
The beeping was one of the collision warning systems that I was testing. The nausea you were experiencing was not caused by a lack of driving skill but perhaps your own intolerance of any road not resembling a Kansas interstate.

Let’s talk about these warning systems. In addition to the default fleet of airbags, whiplash-reducing headrests and stability control devices, the XC60’s main safety draw is its wife silencer. A high pitch buzz first tested on squirrels and then later on penguins will safely and effectively force a wife, or an ex-wife, to stop yapping.

She said
What John means to say is that the XC60’s Collision Warning with Auto Brake uses a sophisticated radar system to detect an impending collision and it will flash a red light and prep brakes. It’s like adaptive cruise control, but it does more than just reduce engine power. The XC60 is available with active cruise control, too, of course.

It’s a good thing we were driving the XC60. The way you were driving with all those warning lights flashing and beeping noises were almost enough to make me want to take over the driving duties permanently. And it scares to me think that you taught our son to drive.

He said
Oh, I didn’t teach him to drive. He just took the car out when we were sleeping. But that’s a story for another time.

I was just trying to maintain a reputation. I wasn’t necessarily trying to make you turn green on those sweeping curves and hills. We stopped at least a dozen times so you wouldn’t hurl on the navigation screen. See, I’m still thoughtful in my old and independent age.

She said
Back in San Francisco, we sat in traffic more agonizing than any marriage we could dream up. Fortunately, we never interrupted any happily married couples by hitting their cars thanks to Volvo’s City Safety technology, which works like the highway-speed Collision Warning system, but it actually applies the brakes when it detects an impending crash.

He said
That couple in the green Explorer looked too happy. I wanted to get their attention to let them know what was coming.

She said
Right. Fortunately, we were moving at lower than 9 mph, so the XC60 automatically applied the brakes and kept us away from their rear bumper. Above 9 mph – and as fast as 18 mph – the XC60 won’t entirely prevent a wreck, but it will do its best to soften the impact.

He said
I call it Urban Wife Mode.

What we agree on
At least we agree that the XC60 is one cool set of wheels. You couldn’t ask for a safer, more comfortable or better-looking compact luxury crossover: It eats up its competition in every regard other than fuel consumption, though that might be because we were in a hurry to get home and away from each other as the day wore on.

… but she gets the final word
Urban Wife Mode? I’m not the one who accidentally triggered City Safety! From Sweden with löv need not apply here.

Words and photos by Brenda Priddy and John Priddy.

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