If you have $120,000 or more to spend on a new automobile, cars are available to tell the world that you are wealthy, or powerful, or a great driver, or uber-fashionable. The Mercedes CL550, in contrast, doesn’t tell the world much at all. What it does do, in an incomparable manner, is to satisfy every transportation desire of its occupants. And, like one of those gentleman’s valets, or lady’s maids of fiction, it provides this satisfaction without ever being obtrusive or out of line.

Backstory

As automotive journalists, we try to evaluate each car we drive against the criteria of the person who is most likely to buy that particular make and model.

Trying to do this with the CL550 was difficult at first. Why would someone want to spend this much money on a car that does not promise incredible track performance or limousine space and comfort? It didn’t even seem to be trying to make a statement about its owners.

But after driving this car for a week, we “got” it.

The V8-powered CL550 coupe, and its enhanced siblings, the V12 CL600, AMG 63 and AMG 65, are built on the Mercedes S-class sedan chassis, but are targeted at a market niche that no one else seems to have noticed.

This is a coupe that is intended to offer the interior appointments of a fine limousine in a body style that meets the transportation needs primarily of one or two individuals, who expect the finest quality in everything they buy, presented in a subtle and unobtrusive way.

Though we did find a few little niggles in the package, overall we’d say that Mercedes has done a stunning job of meeting these criteria.

Aesthetics (4 / 5)

Nothing in the elegant, understated styling of the CL550 shouts “Notice me.” While bystanders will recognize that it’s a Mercedes, and therefore in the luxury category, the exterior doesn’t suggest that it is six-digit expensive.

From the front, in particular, the overall look is similar to other Mercedes cars, with the new, larger familiar star logo in the center of a three-bar grille. You have to look closely to notice the exquisite details of the headlamps with the small cornering lights next to the grille, and the fog lamps set in the black mesh brake duct grilles of the AMG aerokit.

Similarly, the rear end is unmistakably Mercedes, and a critical eye is rewarded with the detailing in the tail lamps, where the slanted backup lights continue the curve of the side feature line. The oval tail pipes connected by a chrome bar give a nice finish to the lower back panel.

The CL550 is at its best viewed from the side, with the graceful sweep of the side glass unbroken by any hint of a door pillar, and the parallel curve of the feature line that leads the eye back to the tail lamps.

On the other hand, the power bulge over the front wheels seems borrowed from a Mazda RX8 and breaks up the elegance of the fender line. And why does Mercedes make the smallest side mirrors of any car on the road? They look twinky and make changing lanes downright scary.

Also, the fussy optional AMG rocker panel trim on our car looked as if a big hand had pushed down on the car until the rocker panel cracked in the middle. Cost may not matter for the gentle folk who select this car, but if we were their accountant and style consultant, we’d recommend saving the $5,630 cost of this cosmetic upgrade.

Performance (4 / 5)

The specifications say the CL550’s 382 horsepower and 391 pound-feet of torque can get the 4,485-pound car from zero to 60 in 5.4 seconds, but evaluating this automobile against the typical standards of a performance car seems a little like having a graceful waltz evaluated by the judges of “Dancing with the Stars.”

Floor the throttle on the onramp, or ask the car to take a tight sweeper at 90, and the little man in the machine simply responds “As you wish, sir” and dispatches the situation with aplomb. It’s just that you can’t help feeling that he thinks such driving is a bit beneath your station.

What the car is really good at, instead, is wafting its occupants along the highway over long distances at whatever speed seems desirable at the time. A note must be made for the Mercedes trade-off between handling and ride comfort. This car is always comfortable but without ever threatening to lose contact with the pavement.

We can easily imagine Hollywood entertainment figures with good taste, for whom the CL is a favorite model, choosing this car over the private jet to run up the coast to a favorite hide-away in the Big Sur, or across the desert to a spa in Sedona.

Technology (4.5 / 5)

Of course, the CL550 has all the basic amenities one would expect at this price point including navigation system,14-way adjustable heated seats, dual climate control, 11-speaker sound system with satellite radio, cruise control and so forth and so on. In addition, our test car was equipped with the optional Distronic Plus – an intelligent cruise control system – and a $5,290 premium package that included night vision, dynamic rear-view monitor, and active ventilated seats. (These options are all standard on the CL600 V12.)

Because there is no longer enough space on the dashboard to have separate buttons to control all these capabilities, Mercedes – like BMW and Audi – has opted for a central control knob and a succession of command screens.

Unlike the systems in the other brands, however, we found the COMAND interface to be fairly intuitive.

By the end of the week, we were adjusting seat bolsters, setting temperatures, selecting our favorite Sirius station, activating the massage feature, checking traffic conditions, and shifting map scales on the fly, all without once consulting the Gideon Bible-sized user manual.

We were blown away by the night vision system. Cruising dark back roads one night, we clicked the Night View Assist switch conveniently located next to the headlights. The analog-style speedometer display was replaced by a black-and-white screen that showed what was ahead in vivid detail, penetrating the darkness four to six times further than the headlights. Trees very near the edge of the road, mail boxes, and the occasional cat or raccoon crossing the road, were clearly illuminated.

On the other hand, the rear view vision screen which replaces the control/nav screen when the car is shifted into reverse isn’t fail-safe, given the limited visibility out the back and the inexplicable lack of rear back-up beepers. In addition, the car does have front side beepers which we found irritating and unnecessary.

Cabin (5 / 5)

It is in the interior where this car absolutely excels. It has the look of an art-deco movie set where Astaire and Rogers would dance to a tune by Cole Porter.

When friends rode with us, we heard the word “wow” murmured frequently.

They were impressed by the harmony of the leather, wood, chrome and ebony trim surfaces.

Settling into the seats – even the back seats are adequately-sized for two average adults – they commented on the soft upholstery and the jewel-like surfaces of the switches and handles. Although they had to slide past the folded front seat, they found entry and exit easy, thanks to the long doors and automatic slide-forward front seats.

While some critics have noted that exceptionally long doors might be a hindrance in parking lots, we suspect that the owners of a CL550 would say that if valet parking isn’t available, they simply wouldn’t go.

And why the beautifully-designed little keypad hidden under its own little chrome and leather lid on the center console? Who uses a keypad these days? Anyone worth calling should already be in the directory, which can be voice-activated. Here’s an idea: redesign the cute little compartment to hold an iPhone and license the Ford Sync system as an interface.

Bottom Line

The Mercedes CL550 is a special car for people who are not concerned about presenting a particular image to the rest of the world, but derive satisfaction from being surrounded with beautiful things that are well-made.

When they seek performance and quality, these owners want it on their own terms, and expect it to be provided as unobtrusively as possible. With this upgraded CL550, or with its more powerful cousin, the CL600, Mercedes does an incomparable job of satisfying these desires.

After driving the CL550 for a week, on the last day we agreed we could easily get used to this. When the car was driven away, and we were left with a family sedan to test drive, we came back to earth. So long to Fred and Ginger; hello Ozzie and Harriett!

Words and photos by Gary and Genie Anderson.

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